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PTA – I’m Too Sexy…

I have never participated in a full triathlon. I’ve been thinking about doing one, but I just haven’t committed myself yet. One thing that is holding me back is cold water. As a child, until I was 23 or so, I had very little body fat. In fact, after seeing me swim at public pool my mother took me to the doctor to see what sort of eating disorder I had (she claims she could count my ribs). He plotted up my age/weight/height onto a special doctor graph and BAM! I was dead on the normal line. But I was sure to make her stop at Wendy’s on the way home for few JBC’s to ease her mind.

Having no body fat causes you to conduct heat away from your internal organs more efficiently, therefore you get colder faster. In my youth I hated swimming in the ocean… warmest waters north of Carolina?? @#$% that!! the Northumberland Strait is the melt water of iceburgs, seals play in those waters.

This fear of cold water has stayed with me all these years, but I have come with 3 and half ideas I may be able to use in order overcome this fear, and participate in a triathlon.

1) Fatten up. (While you read this…I’m gaining weight)

2) Do a triathlon on or near the equator.

3) Buy a thick wetsuit.

3.5) Pee in the wetsuit.

Remember, there are two types of people who own wetsuits: those who pee in their wetsuits, and those who lie about it…


the part time athlete

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1 comment to PTA – I’m Too Sexy…

  • I too suffer from low body fat problems. But you know what PTA? Peeing in your wetsuit is one of the most comforting things know to man (or woman).

    Just make sure you don’t drink the water at the start.

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