Hope on the Horizon

“Back’s pretty sore today – did easy 25 minute bike. Kinda tired out, feeling dizzy – God, help this decrepit body of mine to get back on track!” The entry in my workout log, January 14, 2008.

“Did squats, abs and ball workout. Later, I’ve got a weird numb-like feeling, laterally along left shin and foot, even left toes.  What’s this all about?!”  January 14, 2007

“Ran Peace Hills route, about 10 km. Pushed it up the hills. ” January 14, 2006

“First long run of the year. Fifteen miles on a treadmill – BORING!” January 14, 2005

A depressing, downhill pattern here. One that had me anxious about what kind of bummed out place I’d be in, come January of 2009.

Going a loooong way back: I was an active kid - skating (how did I play hockey in figure skates?!), softball, football with my brothers: team sports that were all affordable in the farming community I grew up in. It wasn’t about exercise, it was fun with your friends, even if that meant cycling two miles one way on loose gravel to get to their place.

Fast-forward. I got married and raised a family: the busy-ness of that plus walking and the occasional sports kept me in shape but I never considered myself an athlete.

Then the kids grew up and left home, my husband started running and I decided to join him rather than spend my summer weekends waiting at race finish lines. Okay, better be honest here  – I saw other women runners my age and wanted ‘the look’ with their strong legs and fit bodies! I started walking-running until my cardio caught up and from then on, running was my game. I jumped into it with a passion. So I’m a late bloomer athlete.

Both my husband and I share(d) this love affair with running. As the years rolled by, so did the competitions: 5, 8, 10 kms, half and full marathons, even one ultra.  I embraced both the challenges of training and race day toeing the line. I still love the entire scene.

In January of  2006, a friend convinced me and 3 others to join her in training for a sprint triathlon. I had done a duathlon prior to that and I was already ‘close friends’ with my bike for cross-training. Swimming was something new to add to the mix but I determined to give it my best go. A month before the event, I ran a half marathon in Red Deer, Alberta: an annual tradition. But – instead of crossing the finish line, I rode a quad the final three kilometres to the medical tent. With a left knee that wouldn’t hold my weight, I bemoaned the fact of my first DNF – without an inkling of the long journey ahead that would stretch and test me in every way.

I think I’ve gone through every emotional stage possible since then. Grief, denial, hope, desperation, faith, grit, anger, optimism, misery, betrayal, fear, etc. etc. and for brief moments, acceptance.

My running didn’t come to a screeching halt. After all the training, thankfully I was able to do the tri event – even happy with my time! I gimped my way to the end of the year, running a half and full marathon (that probably wasn’t a good idea). But my left knee was giving me trouble, bio-mechanically things were off, and my body was getting out of whack.

In May of 2007 we moved to Nova Scotia. Meeting like-minded people to cycle and commiserate with at the Bridgewater Triathlon Club was a lifesaver for me. They encouraged me in my swimming endeavors but I’ve since decided to keep my focus on the bike and run. For now, staying strong and without pain is enough.

My search for the what and the why and how to fix the problem has been as broad as the emotions. Physiotherapy, MRI, chiropractor(s), massage, podiatrist, family doctor, osteopathy, research, prayer – trying not to give up, and for brief moments, being patient with progress. A year ago an arthroscopy tidied up a small meniscus tear and did a buff and polish for some osteoarthritis. I’ve added yoga to my regime for strengthening and flexibility, made some diet changes to help alleviate inflammation and adjusted my training to suit my whole body (not just my mind and soul).

Due to the challenges of the above, plus the curiosity and desire to help myself and others, I have recently begun a study in natural nutrition and nutrition as medicine. I guess my drive to ‘play’ and compete also had some influence on this decision!

So what’s ahead? Long range – some summer duathlons. Closer up? I think it’s realistic to aim for a spring half marathon. I have some unfinished business in Red Deer but I’ll be content with an event closer to home.

“Ran at the new track. Warmed up, then alternated speed intervals with recovery laps, cooled down. Total – 40 laps. Felt good after but shouldn’t have eaten supper before my workout!” January 14, 2009

Now this looks like hope on my horizon.